TAF: "Wrap It Up"
On the 22nd February 2016, Rant + Rave ran a Short Attention Spans workshop as part of Trinity Arts Festival. It was a cosy friendly writing session aimed at those of us who never seem to get things finished, using our very own concise writing form as a guide. We armed our budding writers with copious amounts of tea and biscuits, inspiration games, and the wise words of Aoife Meagher (our Queen of S.A.S). They then had 10 minutes to write a snappy piece in response to the prompt "Wrap It Up". Below are the original and completely unedited results.
Thank you to Ciara Frank, Finlay Glen, Jim Connell Moylan, Kate Haley, Daniel Tatlow-Devally, Seamus Ryan, Jack Farrell, Sophie Cairns, and Anonymous(!) for their contributions, and to Trinity Arts Festival for hosting us.
"Wrap It Up" - Ciara Frank
Later, when the dust cleared they would call it a victory. There would be celebrations, victors kissing babies and free punch under the bunting. Now though the blood and dust clotted the air, hanging so thick that if you could you wouldn’t be breathing, just inhaling clots of black smoke. There are a few survivors left, and a few simply haven’t realised they’re dead yet. Sighing, you wonder if the conflict had been about the small mountain pass again. You realise it doesn’t matter even if it were. There is another bombsite to attend to after all. The souls you gather are light, and make small sounds of relief before you lead them away.
"Wrap It Up" - Finlay Glen
He rose early with the sun and stood, naked, in front of the mirror ready to dress himself, adorn his body. Today he would dress from the bottom up, so he started with his socks (he was a peculiar, unmanly, almost inhuman sight he felt, in just his socks). Then the trousers, the belt, his vest (for a man needs appropriate undergarments), and a shirt finely stitched (by hand, he wished, rather than machine). To top it off this man had a ruby red hunting coat with a holder for a rifle on the shoulder (a decorative but crucial feature). He looked at himself and thought himself fit to swim the county, such a man he was. But to swim the county he couldn’t wear his ruby red jacket, and this thought hurt him. It couldn’t be done. He’d take it off, try again tomorrow.
"Wrap It Up" - Jim Connell Moylan
Wrap it up. Shut it down. Hit the kill switch. Stop. Abort. Start again. Again again. End in sight. Out of its misery. Polish it off. Tying up (loose) strings. Tear it down, break it off, plz no more. These are words said on the side of pitches at 4PM on the last day of summer, a day that is stale? with light, from one person to another in the most brutal breakup in recorded history. 50 words to leave your lover.
"Wrap It Up" - Anon
Awkwardness. The sign of our times. The curse of the millenial generation. This guy took it to a whole other level. “Corpsing”, is that the term? Well, it should be. Dying on stage. There’s only so many misogynistic, blonde jokes you can make. Comedy shouldn’t be tedium and it definitely shouldn’t be this painfully, teeth grindingly, eye squintingly awkward. It’s one thing to think your jokes are funny, a whole other to not realise that you’re dying on stage. Maybe it’s the lack of heckling but you can’t not see the pain in the audience’s faces. Sad clown? More like awkward clown. Unfunny, you’re no comedian, wrap it up man. Oh God just get off stage….. You’re still there…. When will this end…. Jesus Christ…… Aaaaaawkward.
"Wrap It Up" - Kate Haley
Just wrap it up. Bag it. Box it. Bin bag that Shit! Use a bit of sellotape. No. A Ribbon. No. Too pretty. Masking tape, that’s grey, like his hair, like the evening sky. Hurry up! Just wrap it up…Please! Throw it out, give it away. Doesn’t Helen need a birthday present? Then wrap it up. I don’t want to look at it. You wrap it up. Real tight. Evenly. Fold down the edges. We don’t want any wrinkly when you wrap it up. Any inkling. Any doubt. A surprise! Now, wrap it up.
"Wrap It Up" - Daniel Tatlow-Devally
Before the sun cut low light on every walking figure swelling from the stopping trains before ticket stubs and choked announcements had ballooned into the minds of all making their way home before she fell through thoughts stubborn and wrenching as ankle twisting underneath her and before certainly before what was catching up with her could even be named and known before people were statues were sand disintegrating into the heat of a vast plane of glass before all this the question — it seems — is whether she had been in it alone if all left it unspoken.
"Wrap It Up" - Anon
For Lent,
I’m giving up plastic.
Because it’s everywhere. Food packaging mostly - cheese, milk, rice, fruit, veg - even bananas which have their own sturdy biodegradable packaging.
Water bottles. Why buy bottles of water anyway? It’s ridiculous. Would you pay for bottled oxygen? I don’t think so.
Even the election posters. Three on every lamppost in Ireland, all made of plastic.
But it will all be worth it when a sea turtle dies painfully from ingesting bottle lids - because we really needed that diet coke!!!!
"Duncan" - Seamus Ryan
3. We found a hedgehog in the
thicket, by the house I used to
live in and sleep in.
4. It had been through a lot,
that much I could see in
its beady black eyes
and cute button nose.
6. My mother put on a brave
face but then again she also
refused to bankroll a
trip to the vet.
7. We called the hedgehog
Duncan and cried
when Duncan left.
"Taxidermy" - Jack Farrell
And we got to go soon I said. But she wanted to see more of the squirrels, so we waddled. And I swore the small flying squirrel was glaring at us with the same pissed off look the security guard had. Do stuffed squirrels only sleep when museums close? Taxidermy is weird.
Let's go, I said.
I'd like a pet warthog, she said.
Let's go, I said. The warthog had a more friendly look than the squirrel but I think he still would have liked to leave.
The security guard tapped the grissly bear exhibition.
Let's go, I said.
Taxidermy is weird.
"Wrap It Up" - Sophie Cairns
Wrap it up. End. Seal. Put a bow on it. A big red shiny bow. Show her you mean it. Your love is stored in this tiny box and if the tiny box is not adorned with something beautiful then she will think your love is a lie and you will die alone like the rest of us. Don’t be embarrassed by big statements. We all want meaning. Life is nothing without a little pizzazz. Turn up the music. It’s good for babies. No original thought necessary. Fill your brain with class and wank and then throw it back at the world and the world will love you. Glory hallelujah. Good god. Too many godless gimps these days. No sense of ceremony. For fuck’s sake if you don’t believe in living after at least bookend your life with something interesting. Gallop into death! Charge at it on the back of a stallion! Draw your sword and sit up straight. Nobody thinks you’re sexy if you slouch. Smile please. Flash. Bang. There you go. I’ve got you. These frozen for ever. A little memory for me and you that the rest of them can wank over. Do you want to keep it? No better time. It’s the end.
Only a few seconds left.
Right.
Okay.
